james and i broke up. he did it to me and not the other way around.
said he no longer loved me and was no longer sexually attracted to me. oh well.

so life back in georgia hasn't been picture perfect.
when i came out here it was on bad terms with james --
we're still on bad terms.
he's asked me countless times to come back to cali and then revoked the offer.
it's crazy maddness.
but, i know now that i will never be in his arms again...
that night falling to the ground as his car drove off into the distance was the last time i'll ever see him.
and that night before he went to work when he was sitting on the bed with me crying, sobbing, asking me if it was too late -- that was the most heart i've ever seen from him and ever will see.
i love him still -- yes. he's my whole world and my everything -- nothing and no one will ever change that.
but i am going to have to get over him.
it's been hard so far and will only be harder the further down the road i go.
this past month being in georgia has made me reflect on his and my relationship --
and sometimes the love of yourself comes before the love of other.
the love of himself came before the love of me.
and eventually he gave up a good thing.
and i know, some people don't think highly of me -- but believe it or not... i changed for that boy... i became a woman for him.
but sadly, he stayed a little boy.
i'm not going to lie and say i haven't begged him back because i have.
but never again.
he did me a favor that day sitting on the bed --
he told me i deserved better... i could do better. that he didn't love me the way i needed and deserved to be loved.
he was right.

so georgia eh?
back to my roots.
i can do that --
or at least i can try.

------------->>

as for right this moment i am trying to pick up the pieces of my life. trying to figure everything out. i have nothing but a suitcase full of clothing and no place else to go but where i am at. currently im at the library and im going through internet and world of warcraft withdraws. i have a myspace so hit me up: myspace.com/tardpie

ttyl